5 Ways to Run Away from your Problems
3…2…1…. “Happy New Year!”
Yeah OK. More like…
“Good luck with another mediocre year of everything you’re already doing!”
Not this time. Not for this boy.
It’s New Years Day, and just hours ago, I was ringing in the new year with a plan… while also packing a suitcase.
Now that I’m sitting here in the airport waiting for my plane to board, I find myself reflecting on this beautiful life I’ve been given.
The irony of it all? Most of the time, I don’t feel happy with the life I currently have. My husband and I are currently squeezing every inch of our lives in a small city apartment while we search for a house. Meanwhile, my job sucks, my commute sucks, this weather sucks, this coffee sucks, my life is over. Just kidding.
The truth is, I often find myself focusing on the parts of my life that I dislike, rather than the parts of my life that I’m grateful for. Sound familiar? Thought so.
In reality, I’m about to embark on a two month journey, 6 months in the making. I get to spend quality time with my family (whom I only see once a year if I’m lucky), I will be attending classes at a local institute to improve my language skills, but best of all, I get to surround myself with all the aspects of living that I feel are missing back home.
This trip is not a New Year’s Resolution, it’s not a vacation, and it certainly doesn’t come without a cost. I have a plan, and this first post serves as a way to hold myself accountable, a way to follow through on a future I’ve craved for many years. Someday is today, bitches. But more on that in a future post.
Anyway, when I turned 30 last summer, I felt different. Almost instantly. I always knew I would. For some reason, I always felt like my life would start to take monumental turns once I began my 30’s. So when I woke up the morning after my birthday, living my thirty, flirty and thriving fantasy, it came as no surprise that changes did, in fact, start happening.
Let’s be clear, any of the choices I’ve made at 30, I could have made at 29. I was merely too blind to see it, somehow convinced that I either wasn’t ready, or didn’t have the time or the money or the maturity, etc.
Then I re-read one of my favorite books, “You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero. After turning that last page, I should have written my own book called “You are a Dumbass” because that’s exactly how I felt after realizing I’ve been stuck in my own self-inflicted rut for the entirety of my twenties.
Part of me didn’t mind as I always hated my 20’s and saw those years as an inevitable lost cause. Like most twenty-somethings, I made mistakes, burned bridges, lied about things I shouldn’t have, told the truth about things I shouldn’t have, all while figuring out my identity and finding new, fun and interesting ways to grow increasingly insecure about my body, career and major life choices — best years of my life…
Shit.
So listen up fellow readers: those years kind of ARE the best years. Not because of your Instagram selfies or Beyoncé concerts, or those trips to Cancoon and Coachella. Behind that whimsical flower crown of yours was a Rosé-drinking, brunch-going badass in a power suit waiting to happen. You just had to weed through all the things you didn’t want to bring into your future, so you could hone in on all the things you DO want.
But then your late 20’s happen. I call it the Reality Check-point. It practically feels like a fast track to a nursing home. You suddenly start feeling old and that you’ve wasted your youth and “Oh. My. God. Is that a grey hair!?”
Calm down sweetie. Grab the tweezers and move on. This melt down of yours is nothing that a Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte and a good cry can’t fix. You don’t know it yet, but you’re going to get your shit together and it’s going to be awesome.
Why am I going on this tangent?
Because sometimes you need to hit the reset button.
We often are scolded by loved ones at the idea of taking a short break from reality, seen as just another way for you to run away from your problems.
Well I’m here to tell you that it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes, the best way to find motivation and to approach life with a clear mind is to hit reset, change your surroundings, forget about your problems and return with a new outlook on your life. Nothing says ‘I need a change’ better than having an amazing weekend away in the Catskills, only to returning to your cat-piss-smelling basement apartment with a pile of past-due notices waiting for you on the counter.
Now, to any of you 40+ readers — with your 2.5 kids, and your endless mortgage payments, that muffin top you can’t seem to get rid of, your pile of work surrounded by your shitty bosses; YOU TOO can hit the reset button. You’re allowed. It’s ok. Nobody is going to die and honestly, you probably deserve it. Your cat will be fine, your kids will survive, and those bills will still be there when you get back.
I’m not naive to think that your responsibilities don’t matter. They do. So before you go down the “easy for you to say” rabbit hole, stop for a second and ask yourself - “When did I stop being fun?” Just kidding. But really, take the stick out of your ass and realize that your responsibilities ARE really important, so what good are you if you’re not taking care of the biggest responsibility of all, yourself?
Take a break. Take a look around. No explanation necessary. See what it is that you feel is missing. Then go home to your unsatisfactory life and think of ways you can recreate the positive experience you just had in little moments sprinkled into your everyday life.
Moving on. Let’s break down the best ways to run away and never look back… until, of course, you eventualy come back.
5 Ways to Run Away from your Problems
Stop Making Excuses.
Stop telling yourself that you can’t splurge on yourself or a weekend away or cocktail at that bar you always wanted to go to. Maybe you really can’t afford it. That’s totally fine. We can only work with the means we have in this moment. So sift through those sofa cushions for some loose change, go find a cozy little coffee shop, bring a notebook and escape into a new reality for a few hours. Write down lists of what you love, what you hate, what you wish you had. Write stories of where you would go or what you would do on your dream vacation. Write a letter to yourself about how you want to divorce your husband. Whatever you want, it’s valid and totally possible. Even when it seems impossible. Give yourself the time to explore your own desires. Thinking is free. No budget needed.
IOU: one big fat goose egg
Realize that you don’t owe anyone anything, except to be the best damn version of yourself. If you’re unhappy, you’re not doing anyone any good. If you’re with someone that gets offended by you wanting some time alone, first of all, WTF? But also, WTF? We all need space. It’s healthy to check in with ourselves and not feel guilty for taking time to reevaluate our lives and well being.
Be Irresponsible
Be careful who you tell about your upcoming trip to Me-time land. As I’m sure you know, people LOVE giving their unneeded opinions. “You’re being reckless”, “You aren’t thinking clearly”, “You’re being irresponsible”. Whatever, Mom. Ever watch Under the Tuscan Sun? She turned out just fine. It’s not reckless to think outside of the box. Don’t follow all the ducks in a row just because momma duck doesn’t want to see you get hit by a car. Ok, bad metaphor, but you get the point. Even if you mess it all up and spend every last penny on a trip you couldn’t afford, who’s to say that it isn’t the exact lesson you needed to learn? Humans are incredibly resilient creatures, you’ll figure it out.
Literally Run
Ever get into a argument and wish you could just walk out of the house and slam the door behind you? Who’s stopping you girl? That furious and totally “no, you’re wrong, I’m right” boyfriend of yours will still be fuming when you get back. Or maybe not. Maybe you taking the time to simmer down that fuse of yours will also give your partner a little chance to blow off steam. Point is, when life gets overwhelming or you’re just having one of those days, walk it off. Take yourself outside, turn on some peppy music and let it go. Look around you and notice all the things you never see when you’re driving past it. Walks (or runs) can make the same old neighborhood look like a completely new and unexplored place. Breathe and daydream and stop at 7-11 for a big gulp. Something, ANYTHING. Just get outside, it makes a difference. Trust me.
Be Honest
Running away from your problems doesn’t solve any problems. At least not directly. We all know this. But a change of scenery for a certain amount of time can do wonders for your self awareness and, in turn, can actually help you to solve problems. A recent study showed that the first 5 minutes after you wake up is the most important part of your day, gauging how the rest of your day is going to go. When you keep hitting the snooze button, you’re “running away” from your problems, by not actually moving at all. It’s called avoidance. Don’t set alarms only to lie to yourself the next morning. Be honest with yourself and watch how productive your day becomes. Maybe those problems of yours will start to look less problematic.
Well, I feel better. Don’t know about you. But I’m ready to conquer the world… and board this plane. Seriously, this floor is hard as a rock and my ass is killing me.
We are trained to think that taking risks = making bad decisions. The most brilliant and famous people in the world took risks, without risks, you’d never know about them. As for you, you know very well when you’re making bad choices. You feel it in your gut. So don’t. Just think of what you want tomorrow to look like, and ask yourself how you might be able to make that happen. If you claim you aren’t sure of what you want, you’re kidding yourself. Of course you do, you just feel guilty or afraid of saying it out loud because it makes it real. It is real, and you’re not crazy or selfish for wanting your life to feel special.
I’m very fortunate to have a husband and a family that is loving and supportive. Without them, this trip would not be possible. I have a history of pitching some crazy ideas, but as I get more ambitious throughout my life, they’ve learned to shrug it off and understand that I’m totally capable and will pull through. Mistakes will be made along the way, but without mistakes, we’d never have lessons to learn.
It’s funny, I never used to see myself as unstoppable. Now I do. You should too.
So let’s do this, ok?
Like, share, comment & subscribe. See you on the flip side f*ckers!
-Joshua